NewSatire

This terrifying image was smuggled from an alleged "Catholic training camp" in the deserts of Death Valley, CA.

Washington, D.C. - A Christian terrorist group called The Nuns of the Apocalypse launched a surprise attack on the Capitol building yesterday in what federal authorities are calling the deadliest Christian attack in recent memory.

Rhode Island Congressman Roger Bingham hid under a conference room table and remained undiscovered during the ordeal.

“It was like something out of The Da Vinci Code,” a visibly shaken Sen. Bingham later stated. “Between the screams and gunfire I could hear the nuns bizarrely reciting scriptures from the Bible. It seemed inappropriate.”

An image captured on Senator Dewitt's Blackberry as he fled for cover near the Capitol steps.

A terrified House staffer recalled hearing Sister Mary Grace declare, “This is the day that the Lord hath made!” as she pulled the detonator from beneath her bloodstained Habit.

“Let us rejoice and be glad,” responded Sister Catherine, who had just finished garroting New Hampshire Senator Don Kyle to death with her rosary.

In a bold raid, special units were finally able to subdue the blood-mad Catholics before they completed their fiendish plot to convert or kill the entire Legislative Branch of government.

Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano gave her own stark assessment this afternoon:

“This is what we’ve been waiting for,” she said ominously. (see CATHOLICS page 2)