NASA stimulus to ‘launch unemployed into space’
A prototype mega-shuttle named The Ark is under construction and could theoretically hold 2,500 unemployed Americans.
Washington, D.C. - The Administration’s new plan to tackle rising unemployment took an exciting turn today.
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration has announced the $1 billion it received in tax-payer stimulus will be spent to construct “massive transport shuttles” that will be used to “launch unemployed Americans into outer space.”
President Barack Obama endorsed the project earlier today during his speech at Johnson Space Center in Houston.
“For all the success of President Franklin Roosevelt in using government to address the crisis of the Great Depression, he struggled with unemployment, which by 1940 was still about 14.6 percent,” Obama said.
“America cannot afford to let that happen this time, and we won’t,” Obama declared. “We’ve come up with a plan.” (see SPEECH page 7)
Thousands of US moviegoers were disappointed this week as they attempted to see Tim Burton's cool post-apocalyptic animated adventure "9" but ended up accidentally seeing the gay Daniel Day-Lewis musical "Nine" instead.
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